Roasted mashwa dish and wheat stew . Black tears and white shoes

Distance means nothing when I hear the word flamenco. I could be miles away from Spain but if I am in a flamenco show, I am at home. 

Last Monday we were invited by a couple of Peruvian friends to a charity event to raise funds for the Mission of Padre Martinho to help children with disabilities. The event consisted in a flamenco dance performed by the group "Por flamenco". I was looking forward to it.

The audience was waiting for something to happen. In front of a hundred spectators there were three men, one with a guitar, the other with the cajon or box and the third one...with a deep voice that took our breath away, or at least mine. At the same time,  three gorgeous women, wearing beautiful spotty dresses, black and red, started to move arms, hips, legs and feet rhythmically. The echoing sound of their black heels knocking on the wooden floor gave me goose bumps.

And I thought of my dad.

Mi nina Esther, you really have to be in love with Flamenco to be able feel it, my dad whispered in my ear. But that girl of eight years old didn't understand it yet. Not until she grew up, left Spain and lived around the world those words became her anchor. However, despite what many think, not all Flamenco dancing is worth seeing it. It is sometimes poorly made for foreigners to fit into the Spanish stereotype - I made sure that my husband appreciates the difference! If you watch a good one, where the music and the dance play in unison with your heart, well, you will be able to feel Flamenco, as my dad said.

The spectacle had begun... "black tears were running on her pretty face .." sung the Andalusian man. His solea song - solea is one of the most basic forms of Flamenco music - was accompanied by a soft hand- clapping (palmas in Spanish). Instinctively, I started to copy him.

Watching the beautiful show, I continued to think of my beloved father. A man from the South of Spain who would have loved to be there with me, smiling. If only this happy image was real, I would  give anything to have it, even if it was just for one second.

I was born in Madrid, back when my father was still living with us. In those days, my parents used to spend summer, together, with us. Our holiday destination was a fishing village called Punta Umbria, one of the most beautiful beaches of Huelva, where my dad was born. Truth be told, I am not being objective and I love Punta Umbria because I have special childhood memories. and great stories that I can tell my children now...did you know that I used to walk in bare feet on a street called La Calle Ancha to buy my favourite soft nougat ice cream in the shop La Ibense? 

I went back to Punta Umbria twice since I left Spain in 2003. Once for my dad's funeral in November of 2006 and the second time with Nick and my daughter Aurelia when she was nine months old, in 2008. The day that all my siblings - plus the in laws and my step mother Inmaculada - and I threw the ashes of my father to the sea of Punta Umbria, as he wished, my world was turned upside down. I didn't know what emotional pain meant until that day.

Tomorrow is 20th of December and eight years since the lung cancer took my father away to a better, and less suffering, place.  

I had black tears last Monday night - mainly because the rimmed for the eye lashes was NOT water proof - during the Flamenco show, but I didn't care what my neighbour could think of this perhaps too sensitive woman. He didn't understand that I was missing my father. 

Distance means a lot when you miss the people you love and you cannot make them appear when you want.

At least I will always have Flamenco...

My white flamenco shoes with my grandma's manton

... and cooking.

I used to think that I would be a better cook if I had lots of cookbooks. I was wrong although I am a self taught cook thanks to them, reading and practicing the recipes, and making mistakes, lots of them. I still make them, but not the same ones.

You are a better cook when you take the challenge to cook with new ingredients. They don't have to be exotic, a simple artichoke is already a test for me. However, now that I am lucky to live in a country like Peru, where the produce is so diverse, from three different areas, desert coast, mountains and Amazon, the range of possibilities is big. No excuses.

This week I wanted to cook with mashwa and wheat. The mashwa is a papa amarga from the Andes Central. It reminds me of the parsnip, but without the nutty flavour.

I used the recipe of Ottolenghi for roasted parsnips with sweet potatoes with caper vinaigrette. It was really good. I served it as a side dish with a delicious roast chicken. This roast vegetable is one of my favourites from now on, with parsnips or mashwas.

• 4 mashwas
• 4 medium red onions
• 2/3 cup olive oil
• 4 thyme sprigs
• 2 rosemary sprigs
• a head of garlic, halved horizontally
• salt and black pepper
• 2 medium sweet potatoes
• 30 cherres tomatoes, halved
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 4 tbsp capers
• 1/2 maple syrup (I used honey)
• 1/2 tbsp Dijon mustard
• 1 tbsp sesame seeds

1. Preheat the oven to 375 F. Peel the mashwas and cut in three segments, and then into two or four. Peel the onions and cut each into six wedges.
2. Place the mashwas and onions in a large mixing bowl and add 1/2 cup olive oil, the thyme, rosemary, garlic, salt and some pepper. Mix well and spread out in a large roasting pan. Roast for 20 minutes.
3. Repeat the peopling and cutting process with the sweet potatoes. Add them to the pan. Return the pan to the oven for a further 40 to 50 minutes.
4. When all the vegetables are golden colour, stir in the halved tomatoes. Roast for 10 minutes more. Meanwhile, whisk together the lemon juice, capers, honey, mustard and the remanning two tablespoons of olive oil and some salt.
5. Pour the dressing over the roasted vegetables as soon as you take them out of the oven. Scatter the sesame seeds over the vegetables and serve.

The trigo perlado or whole wheat is cooked like chickpeas, soaked in water for at least 10 hours (or using the press cooker for 10 minutes, as I do). We made this little dish for the children and they loved it. It is soft and I think perfect as a baby food.

1. Fry half of a chopped onion and one crushed garlic in a sauce pan with a tablespoon of olive oil. Add one piece of peeled ginger, chopped.
2. Add one zucchini , chopped and unpeeled. Stir well until cooked.
3. Add the already 1 cup of cooked wheat, cilantro if you have, and chicken stock to cover. Season with salt and pepper. Cook it for 10 minutes or until the water has been absorbed.
4. Mix some chopped fresh feta cheese in cubes.

Asparagus and quinoa salad. Lima in love

I am falling in love with this city. It is impossible not to.

Since we arrived six weeks ago I have realised that Lima has so much beauty and art around it. The photos I have taken during this period reflect just a tiny bit of that, even though I am an amateur with the camera. 

This post is just about images, with short stories attached. Through them I hope you see what I saw or feel what I felt. In love.

Beautiful people

This gorgeous little girl is a friend of my son Gabriel. They are in the same classroom in the nido or nursery. She used to cry when her mum, a teacher as well in the nido, dropped her off in the morning. After a few days, she started to smile and participate in the activities. I am a witness of her progress because I spend every morning with Gabriel in the classroom during his adaptation period. She is giving an example to Gabriel, who observes her quietly from his chair.

The young lady on the right is a seller from Huancayo, capital of Junin region, in the central highlands of Peru. I saw her a couple of times last week, when I went to Metro supermarket, and her hat drew my attention but also the way she was carrying her baby in the back. My surprise was when she unwrapped the tied scarf to sell me some honey from a 2 litres jar, "her baby". It was the most delicious honey I have ever tasted. 

I thanked her for letting me to take a photo of her. When she saw it, she said something  in Quechua which I didn't understand, obviously, but I had the impression that it was the first time she saw a selfie, and in a digital camera!

Things that you take for granted, are new for others.

This Saturday morning my husband Nick drew a plan in a big piece of paper: visit the artesanal fish market. It was 8.20am and there we were, checking out the conchitas, the tilapias, the octopus, the crabs (alive)...

There were pelicans everywhere, even inside the fish market. I thought they were kind of cute, so I took Juanan in the pusher to see them, and pat them, except that a local men stopped me alarmed and cried No, señora! aleje al bebe! que los pelicanos sueltan piojos cuando abren sus alas! - do not get the baby close to the pelicans because they spread bugs when they open their wings! 
OMG, I thought...

Fish market Artesanal

I went straight to Inka Farma and bought a shampoo to kill bugs. Back home, I put my soldier hat on and ordered bath time, everyone! no discussion! hurry up!

These are the experiences you live when you are discovering a new country. I am embarrassed to admit that pelicans are a common bird so I should have known about its bugs too!

After a cleaned and disinfected hair, we went to have an empanada in a bar close to our residence. It felt like being in any bar in Spain. It had character, full of locals and so far, with the best meat empanadas in our neighbourhood, Barranco.

The lovely nun you see in the photo was enjoying a peaceful moment - although I am pretty sure she does it more often than I do during her day - until my family arrived. She lasted two minutes and a half after we sat down in the table next to hers.

Figures

The music of Peru is a mix of sounds and styles from the Andes, Africa and Spain. The figure of the left side photo represents a Peruvian musician playing the instrument zampona o ziku. He wears a traditional hat called chullo, which has been used in the Andean Mountain region by indigenous people for thousand of years.

I took this photo when Nick and I were having a pisco cocktail with a Peruvian friend who gave us a very interesting, and sad, view of how he lived the terrorism period in Lima when he was a student. A popular question amongst his friends was: when are you leaving Peru? which country are you going to? Some run away, others stayed. Some didn't live to tell what happened...but you know? Peruvians are proud of being Peruvians, he said with a broken voice.

The photo of the right side is the torito de Pucara, "This handicraft is a result of the fusion between the Spanish and Andean cultures. It is used to have luck, prosperity and protection and it is often placed in the roof of most of Andean houses"

My daughter Aurelia took the photo when we were having a delicious hot chocolate in a art shop called Dedalo. She has sweet tooth, like her mum. The hot chocolate in Peru is spicy, the milk is infused with cloves and cinnamon. Absolutely delightful. 

National drinks

Natural disasters

I thought I left natural disasters back in the Philippines, the typhoons, cyclones and earthquakes. But when Nick brought me home the list of postings two years ago and I said yes, let's apply for Peru! I forgot that this country was in the ring of fire. 

There are sismos constantly, even when you don't feel them (usually magnitud 4). This October we had 21, for example. I am amazed by the way the Peruvians accept the sismos and the possibility of a tsunami as part of their normal lives. We don't have rain, we have sismos! a local told me the first day. He was laughing when he said it. Well, I didn't!

The sunset is incredible from the malecon in Barranco but I must confess that a terrible thought of a huge wave coming from the end of the ocean crosses my mind sometimes. I am not Peruvian after all!

          Great produce

With more variety of potatoes that enough days to taste all of them, the restaurants usually serve fries made with real potato, as it should be. I now feel less guilty when we order them.

When I was in Australia I bought green asparagus once, because I was craving them, but I used to stick to the national produce when I went to the markets. It was a long way from Peru to Australia so the conditions and the freshness were questionable by the time the asparagus arrived. 

Now that we are in the land of asparagus, I eat them weekly with jamon serrano, with a fried egg on top or just grilled with sea salt. 

Asparagus and quinoa salad

I brought this healthy asparagus, quinoa and orange salad (from Emma Galloway) for my good friend Natalie who organised a welcoming lunch for me last week and during which I had the opportunity to meet some of her lovely friends. 

• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 onion, finely diced
• 2 garlic cloes, chopped
• 1 tbsp sesame seeds
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed well
• 400g sparagus
• Finely grated zest of 1/2 large orange
• 1/2 toasted almonds
• 1 cup mint (optional)
• dressing:
• juice of 1/2 large orange
• juice of 1 lemon
• 2 teaspoons of runny honey
• 3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

1. Put the jug on, as you will need boiling water soon. Heat oil in a saucepan and add onion and garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes. Add sesame seeds and quinoa and cook for 1-2 minutes, stirring often until toasted. Add 375ml boiling water, reduce to a gentle simmer, cover pan and cook for 10-12 minutes until all the water has been absorbed and quinoa is tender. Remove from the heat and leaving the lid on set aside to steam before fluffing up with a fork. Cool to room temperature.
2. Blanch the asparagus, drain and refresh in cold water.
3. To make the dressing, simmer orange and lemon juice in a small saucepan until reduced by half. Remove from the hear, add honey and then pour the olive oil in a steady stream, whisking constantly to form a lovely emulsified dressing, Taste and season well with sea salt and freshly ground pepper.
4. transfer quinoa to a large bowl and stir in orange zest, almonds, mint (optional), asparagus and dressing. Toss well.
5. Share with friends!

Vegeterian rice salad. Happy birthday to me...twice

I have been thinking lately about a proper post to enclose my last days in Canberra. I couldn't come up with one and decided to leave it until we arrive in Peru next week and start again writing there. But I felt like an incomplete puzzle. There was a missing piece. I had to end this period with one more story.

Maree, my mother in-law, switched on the light in my head - I usually need someone to do it. Unintentionally, she gave me the idea for my post when she kindly handled me a birthday present and a card last Monday in Melbourne, just when we were leaving her house of Canterbury road at 6.30am to catch the plane back to Canberra for our final week. I gratefully kept them in my handbag, excited like a child. 

The card and the gift were meant to be opened this coming Monday, 15th of September, when I am a year older - but "wiser", my dad used to say. However, my surprise was when I was on the plane and heard  a little voice saying To our dear Esther...Aurelia got bored during the flight and curiously opened my gift and the card!

Suddenly, while I was listening to Aurelia reading my birthday card, with a thoughtful message written inside, I realised that the lost piece of the puzzle called "transitory period in Canberra" was precisely my very last day in Canberra, the day of my birthday, same day we take off to Peru. And I should honour that day with this story.

I am not intending to write about the celebrations I should have on that special occasion, but I wish I did because I do love the paraphernalia of celebrating a birthday, I mean, having my favourite cake - a moist flourless chocolate cake -, a party with some colourful balloons suspending on the air, or perhaps a special dinner with my family and fabulous food cooked by someone else but me. A present? Yes, please, a drawing card by my kids and a few words from my husband would be lovely.

Nope, I won't talk about that kind of happiness. I will write about the fact that next Monday I will get up at 5am to head off to the Canberra airpot with three sleepy children in the car, and an apprehensive mum. When I have to fly, my anxiety level arises every 15 minutes and my stomach is closed in a tied knot, not letting the mouth to swallow any food until the journey is over and my nerves disappear. 

The journey itself won't be that long....The flight to Sydney is only an hour, Nick said, but then we will wait for three hours at the airport to connect to the flight to Santiago de Chile, which is thirteen and a half hours. We will spend the night in a hotel near the airpot in Chile and the next day, on Tuesday, we will have another flight of 2 hours to Lima. 

Happy birthday to me, what a nightmare, I thought. Let me tell you that Australians consider "short" a flight of 5 hours. So you can understand why my husband really believes that our journey is not that long.

I am a half full glass person and instead of thinking that I am going to spend my thirty eighth birthday on two planes with tired, grumpy and bored children, and equally their parents, suffering the side effects of the jet lag, I am trying to remind myself that we will arrive in Chile on Monday morning. It will be Monday again, and my birthday again, isn't that great? Twice!

I will forget the tedious travel we just did and I will delete that "black" Monday from the calendar to place a new empty space...the day of my birthday will be a memorable day, as my mother in-law says in the card, a new beginning in Peru for the McCaffrey Tolmos family. 

I will take you into a fascinating adventure through the pages of this blog.

Vegeterian rice salad

My husband is a bit reluctant when I serve vegetarian dishes as a main course and not as a side dish. This time, he had second servings.

This recipe is from the kiwi Emma Galloway, adapted to my taste:

• 5 carrots, peeled, cut into 1 cm thick diagonal slices
• Some chopped coriander stalks
• Olive oil
• A pinch of cumin, coriander, paprika and chilli powder

• 1 cup of arborio rice or any short grain rice, washed
• 1/2 teaspoon of turmeric, to give it the yellow colour

• 1/2 cup dried sultanas
• 1/2 cup lightly toasted pine nuts
• Large handful of coriander leaves, chopped and Italian parsley chopped
• Crumbled feta, a soft one, to serve on top

Dressing:

• 60ml lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
• 2 teaspoons honey
• 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1. Preheat oven to 200C. Place carrots, coriander stalks, olive oil and the spices in a bowl and season well with salt and pepper. Mix well and spread out in a single layer on a baking tray. Roast for 30 minutes until golden, turning often. Set aside to cool
2. Meanwhile, cook the rice until tender, but not soft. Let it cool to room temperature.
3. To make the dressing, whisk together all the ingredients. Pour over cooled rice, stir in the roasted carrots and any spices from the tray, sultanas, pine nuts, coriander and parsley. Adjust to taste. 
4. Serve with some soft feta on top (I used Persian feta and some of the marinated oil)

Rotolo with pumpkin and spinach pesto. Knocking on palace's door

It is time to put my yellow rubber gloves on I thought at 7.30pm last night. I took the cleaning product Ajax and started to clean up like a maniac. The good thing of having a tiny apartment is that the job is done faster! 

While I was doing this kind of "stress- relieve exercise", mopping there, brushing here, I thought of  this year of 2014, from January until now, September. Why? Because in the Southern hemisphere Spring starts on the first of September, tomorrow, and you know what they say, "Spring - clean", like the New Year's resolutions, a new start.

I decided to clean up not only the clutter we won't take with us to Peru, but also my thoughts and emotions, to let some fresh space in my mind for the next episode ahead of us. 

My year began in Spain, as Aurelia, baby Juanan and I were spending Christmas with my family. Short but wonderful visit. Feeling homesick, I came back to Manila and continued with the weekly visits to the hospital for Juanan's multiple casts and a surgery on his foot. Thank goodness we had a restorative break in Australia during Easter (and my first 10 km race!). 

After that holiday, May and June went fast but slow at the same time. 

Time goes quick when you are busy. Indeed, we were occupied with successive farewells and packing up three years of  our lives in boxes. However, when Nick and I had pauses, and I mean dinners, to reflex about our the unsettling present and the uncertainness of our future, a draining feeling of emotional exhaustion invaded us...I remember getting anxious during our last two weeks in Manila. I wished to leave as soon as possible. I fought against this uneasy sensation until the Philippine airlines took off on the 17th of June.  And then, I was relieved but sad and regretting my wish.

We came back to Australia in June and had a wonderful holiday with Nick's family in Port Douglas, right up North in this vast country. It was Juanan's first birthday, on the 11th of july, a very cold but sunny day in Canberra, when we started a new chapter: a transitory period of two months before moving again.

During our time in Canberra I have learnt a few lessons. The most significant one on my way through cooking is that I am certain I can cook with less time, no gadgets and no cookbooks. 

Saying that, I still like having cookbooks in my kitchen as they are little companions of my culinary adventure. Because of the weight, I didn't bring more than two so I occasionally researched in internet for recipes and I must say, the digital version doesn't give me as much pleasure as having a cookbook in hand. I like open it and see that some of its pages are stained by oil or perhaps by the splash of a bubbling tomato soup, for example. I like to touch the recipe as part of my joy of cooking.

Regarding the gadgets, I have used an aromatic glass candle as a rolling pin and a little lunch box as a  cookie cutter, amongst others. However, I do miss my Kitchen Aid to cream the butter with the sugar for the banana bread. I survived without that magic machine but I struggled with a bad knife. A good knife makes your chopping job easier, safer - I almost added a chopped finger to the bolognese last thursday - and with more satisfactory results. The same applies to some soups and winter stews that got burnt in the thin and bad quality pots that the apartment provided us. I wish I had travelled with a heavy cast iron casserole!

For me, cooking is a fantastic way of bringing my own self, but I need to have time to be able to enjoy it. When Nick was travelling for two weeks, it was challenging to make complicated recipes. So I chose simple meals and not necessary plain. They were pretty good, if I say it to myself. And when I felt like having a Spanish omelette or tortilla de patatas,  I recurred to "uncle" television to mind the kids. Nothing wrong with that as my goal was to nurture their tummies, right?  

The lack of "mummy time" frustrated me during the first week in Canberra because I was used to rely on my nanny in Manila to give me a hand in the house so I could concentrate on the children, and myself.  Now, 6 weeks later, I manage my day better. I learnt how to squeeze 10 minutes in between boys' naps  or 15 minutes while they are nicely playing, to write my blog, read the Dish magazine or make a delicious pumpkin pasta rotolo for dinner.

I was even happier when I decided to get up earlier than I used to go for a long run. I loved starting the day with the sunrise but especially I liked the fact that I dedicated time for me, even if the rest of the day went wrong, I was fine. A positive energy changes the way you do things, and nobody else will do it for you anyway. Complaining and whinging do not help at all.

My kids have also learnt to play more with their imagination and less with plastic toys. They made a boat for Gabriel's favourite "elephant" from a weet bix cereal box, and a bed for Aurelia's "leon" using a cardboard box that it contained last Friday three superb burgers from the famous Brodburger cafe near our house. A magnificent take away dinner.

In two weeks time, on my birthday, we will depart to Peru and a new exciting experience will begin again. As I have said in my blog, the diplomatic life reminds me of the classic children story of Cinderella. When I was about to leave Manila I identified my life in the moment when Cinderella runs away from her prince and the carriage becomes a big orange pumpkin, leaving a forgotten crystal shoe on the stairs.

Now, I am in the chapter when Cinderella is wearing an inmaculate dress that her Godmothers made for her. She is coming out of the sparkling carriage leaded by white horses...

...and about to knock on palace's door. Peru.



PS: When I finished writing this post and looked over my laptop and asked Nick what he will miss of Australia. I was expecting a profound answer after I had spent some time meditating about 2014 and  these two months in Canberra.

- humm...my Vegemite. 

Three big jars of Vegemite are already packed

Vegeterian dinner: rotolo of pumpkin with spinach pesto

I didn't have my Anna del Conte Italian cookbook that I frequently use to make pasta at home. So I used the internet an came across with the recipe of  "squash & spinach pasta rotolo"  from Jamie Oliver http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetables-recipes/squash-spinach-pasta-rotolo  

It is very good although I used English spinach (instead of frozen) and I mixed through 3 tablespoons of my homemade basil pesto (after you cook the spinach). It was a nice delicious touch.

Lemon and goat cheese ravioli. Dating Nick after the Easy-Jet flight. Chapter II

He gave me his business card at Heathrow airport after the three hour flight, from Madrid to London, It was September of 2000. My life was about to be turned completely, upside "down - UNDER"-. Whatever happened after that cosmic meeting on the Easy-Jet plane depended on me. I did not give him my telephone number or email address after saying good bye. Call it self preservation. 

When we landed, I knew something happened because I was already feeling little butterflies in my stomach. It was not my imagination, for sure…but "How come? I just met him, and I don't know anything about him except that he is from Australia , he lives in Spain and will stay in my country for  only two more years and likes to eat a salty spread called Vegemite. But he is absolutely the funniest guy I have ever met…and good looking, by the way". This is what I was thinking when we took opposite directions inside the airport. Me, going with my sister and her Sri Lankan boyfriend to their home in London, and him, getting the connection flight to Scotland to meet his Australian "friend". She damped Nick the day before he had to go back to Madrid. I was so glad.

The card read: Nicholas McCaffrey, Tercer Secretario, Embajada de Australia, Madrid. I carried this card everywhere I was in London; it was in the pocket of my black leather jacket. I needed to feel the card close to me, in case I lost it...and him. Even if he wasn't  thinking of me at all. 

I was in London to open my eyes: for quite a long time I was involved in a difficult relationship with a Spanish guy and I had to end it, but I didn't know how- it should have never started, to be honest, but I was too blind and too young. Sometimes you need another person to drag you out of your comfort zone and shake your world. The problem was that I was NOT comfortable in my world of 24 and it was costing me a lot of problems, specially with my dad…until I met Nick, by chance. Although I like to think of destiny. 

My parents always believed that Nick was the answer to their prayers- and my mum also thought that Nick looked like Harrison Ford!. She also gave me the two thumbs up. 

The way my parents met Nick and his parents met me, deserves a proper post, a chapter number III.

On the other hand, on the other side of the world, Nick's parents were praying at the same time for his eldest son to get settle into his first posting as a diplomat. Nick had a girlfriend in Australia but the relationship of eight years ended shortly before Nick started his new life in Spain - I should thank his ex-girlfriend for that, shouldn't I? - living as a single guy, in a huge apartment in trendy Chueca suburb. Yes, this  Australian with his big blue eyes and his cute English accent was having the best time of his life…until I came along and…my whole Spanish family too, of course - but he didn't really know it until we had to go for lunch every Sunday at my mother's place instead of exploring the pueblos of Spain, which didn't make him too happy, let's be frank.

In summary, after all these prayers, I sent an email to Nick, the first week of October and just a few days after I got back from London. That summer of 2000, I decided to enrol in a free course about IT and accounting to increase my skills and being more employable with a recently finished law degree, although the high rate of unemployment in Spain was so depressing that my hopes were quite low.

During one of those boring hours of learning about accounting - there is a reason why I studied law- I decided to send an email to that Australian guy who probably didn't remember the petite Spanish girl he met on an Easy-Jet flight…I doubt a lot whether to write him or not but my sister Maria, who was doing the course with me, encouraged me to click "send" in the email….and I included my mobile number. He called me seconds after receiving my email, in the middle of my class, so I had to excuse myself and went to the bathroom to talk. 

That talk ended in our first date in La Plaza Mayor with his sister Jane who was visiting him for a few weeks, and my friend Nancy. We both needed some "fake" support to break the ice. Was the chemistry still there after meeting him on the plane?  Just in case, I drunk too much sangria and ate nothing. He ate a few tapas and drunk nothing except beer. And the night took over our laughs, the international language between two strange people.

Something began. Something changed in our lives. It was the start of a relationship with many chapters…that now belong to my blog which I share it with you through my cooking.

Happy reading. Happy cooking.

Light lemon and goat cheese ravioli, by YoTam Ottolenghi

Pasta dough:

• 3 tbsp olive oil
• 3 medium eggs
• 2 3/4 cups "00" pasta flour
• 1/4 tsp ground turmeric
• grated zest of 3 lemons
• semolina

1. Whisk together the oil and eggs.
2. Put the flour, turmeric and lemon zest in a food processor and add the oil and egg mixture and blend to a crumbly dough.
3. Divide it into four thick rectangular blocks and wrap them in plastic wrap. Chill for at least 30 minutes or up to 2 days.
4. Lightly dust a work surface with flour. Take one piece of dough and flatten it. Pass the dough through the widest setting of the machine and repeat the step, narrowing the setting by a notch each time until the lowest one. Keep each sheet under a list towel.

Filling:

• 200g soft goat cheese
• a pinch of salt and chile flakes
• black pepper
• 1 egg white, beaten

1. Combine in a bowl the filling ingredients except the egg white and crush together with a fork

1. Use a pastry cutter to cut discs of 3-inch from the pasta sheets. 
2. Brush each disk with the egg white and place a heaped teaspoon of filling in its centre. 
3. Place another disk on top and press gently to get out as much air as possible. Seal the edges of the two disks together.
4. Place the ravioli on a dish towel or tray sprinkle with semolina.
5. Leave to dry for 10- 15 minutes or cover with plastic wrap  and keep the ravioli in the fridge for a day.

1. When ready to cook, bring a big pan of salted water to the boil. Cook the pasta until al dente.
2. Drain and sprinkle with some crushed pink pepper corns, chopped tarragon and grated zest of 1 lemon. Drizzle some oil over the ravioli and around them and a squirt of lemon juice if you like.

Smoky eggplant risotto with lemon. A personal obstacle of proving myself

When Nick is away from home- which doesn't happen too often, lucky me- I don't eat well because I don't cook, except for  the children, of course. I just open the fridge and help myself with whatever is in there, an egg or a toasted cheese sandwich. Sometimes, I just have for dinner a porridge with some chopped fruit and nuts on top, like I had last Sunday.

You wonder why I go to the other extreme, from cooking like a maniac to be a lazy cook. Well, it is because I don't have someone to cook for and to rate my meals from one to ten- as Nick usually does in sort of a game with Aurelia-. Sharing what I cook and hear that it was a great dinner!, it is one of the main motivations I spend time in my kitchen. 

The more I write about my life in each post of my blog, the more facets of myself I discover. It wouldn't be honest from me not to mention this no-new annoying aspect of my personality with you: I need to prove people than I am good at something -like cooking- even though I am just a little or not at all.

This constant need of acceptance for what I do is exhausting. I wish I didn't feel it or at least I knew how to get rid of it, but I don't know how. Through this blog I hope I will because I am dedicating time to reflex, to think and to change the person I don't want to be giving some space to the "real" me, without personal obstacles.

Sometimes when you start digging inside of you it is scary what you might find but, at the same time, is reinvigorating to be able to transform a feeling that bothers you into words and let it go- I have this "Let it go" song in my head since I wake up until I go to bed thanks to my kids, Aurelia and Gabriel, who are obsessed with the movie Frozen, like most of the children around the world…and adults, by the way!-.

Well, last night I decided to give the first step in this self-therapy: I cooked a beautiful risotto for dinner. I rated a 9.5, no one else did. And I didn't mind the silence after I finished my dinner. I was satisfied with myself...but I still missed not having the risotto with Nick and Aurelia. It was absolutely delicious. 

I am not a bad cook after all. I don't need to prove it. I just want to share it.

If you like babaganush, you will love this risotto because the chargrilled eggplant adds a fantastic smoky flavour, and quite unique, to the classic lemon risotto. If you are not fond of burning eggplants, omit the topping and just follow the basic recipe of Yotam Ottolenghi.

Smoky eggplant risotto with lemon

Serves 4

• 2 medium eggplants
• 1/2 cup of olive oil
• sea salt
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 2 cups risotto rice
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 3 1/2 cups of stock- vegetable.
• grated zest of 1 lemon
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 1/2 butter
• 1/2 Parmesan cheese
• Black pepper

1. Start by burning the eggplants on the stove, directly on the flame and when they are black, place them in cold water. remove the black skin and scoop out the soft flesh. Chop it roughly and set it aside.
2. Basic recipe: Cut the other eggplant into dice. Heat up 1/2 cup of oil in a frying pan and fry the eggplant in batches until golden brown and crisp. transfer to a colander and sprinkle with salt. leave to cool.
3. Put the onion and the remaining oil in a heavy pan and fry slowly until soft and translucent. Add the garlic and cook for 3 minutes. Turn up the heat and add the rice, stirring to coat it in oil. Fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the wine and cook for 3 minutes or until nearly evaporates. Turn the heat to medium.
4. Now start adding the hot stock to the rice, a lawful at a time, waiting until each addition has been fully absorbed before adding the next and stirring all the time. When all the stock has been added, remove the pan from the heat. Add half the lemon zest, the lemon juice, grilled eggplant, butter, most of the Parmesan and a pinch of salt. Stir eel, then cover and set aside for 5 minutes. Taste for salt.

Citrus salad with fennel Vinaigrette. Mediterranean Orange almond cake. Different rainbows

This blog is helping me to analyse my life and to mark out the exact boundaries of my personality. I am writing my thoughts and feelings about chapters of the story of my young life- well, not that young anymore, I am afraid-.

Every night I spend un ratito (a little while) of 5-10 minutes with my daughter Aurelia in her bedroom before she falls sleep. It is when we pray and she talks about her day or any thought that crosses her mind. The other night she asked me "Mum, what do you like?". 

A simple question but with a tricky answer for me. Why? Because I always prefer to please and not disappoint someone that having confrontations. Which makes me a bad lawyer by the way.

With maturity I have learnt that sometimes it is ok to say NO or to say YES to someone; that you can not pretend that everybody likes you because in the end you need to ask yourself who are you?? You are what people want you to be. Like a chameleon. And it doesn't feel right to me.

My answer was not straight forward so I said "I like many things but specially being now with you". I thought about her question a lot since then, even more when I run yesterday morning.

Last night I wanted to go back to Aurelia's question so we had this conversation:

-" Do you remember when you asked me what I liked?" I asked her. She nodded affirmatively.

-"Well, I like to be myself, and it is something I am still discovering through many aspects of my life. It isn't easy, you know". She listened quietly.

-"I like eating ice creams, fruit roll ups and playing with my friend Zayden at school" She replied. And then, out of the blue, she added, "Did you know mum that everybody sees the rainbow with different colours?". I smiled and kissed her good night.

I didn't know it but if she says so I believe it is true because it means that everybody has a personal rainbow. I just need to define mine and I think I have already started. And you?.

 Citrus salad with fennel Vinaigrette 

• 1/3 cup olive oil
• 1/4 small fennel bulb, finely chopped, plus 1/2 cup chopped fronds
• 1 small shallot, finely chopped
• 2 Tbsp finely chopped peeled ginger
• 1 tsp fennel seeds, crushed
• 1/4 cup white wine vinegar
• 2 tbsp honey
• Salt, freshly ground pepper
• 4 navel oranges, blood oranges, tangerines and/or grapefruit
• 5 cups mixed hardy salad greens
• 1 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley

1. Heat oil in a medium skillet over median heat. Add chopped fennel, shallot, ginger and fennel seeds and cook, stirring often, until tender but not brown, 10minutes. Mix in vinegar and honey. Let cool, season with salt and pepper.
2. Finely grate 1 tsp.zest from 1 orange; set aside. Using a sharp knife, cut all peel and white pith from oranges; discard. Cut between membranes to release segments into a medium bowl; discard membranes.
3. Toss greens, parsley, fennel fronds, oranges, and dressing in a large bowl. Serve with orange zest.

Because everything is in moderation in this life, you are allowed to indulge yourself from time to time.

I love Neil Perry's cookbook Simple Good Food which is a collection of his recipes from his column in the Good Weekend newspaper. It is a book to learn to cook starting with simple recipes and "as you grow in confidence, add more and more recipes to your repertoire"- he says . So I used the left over oranges from the salad to make this delicate Mediterranean orange and almond cake. 

This cake isn't rich or heavy. I love the natural flavour of the almond meal. It is not only healthy -no flour or butter; and it has almonds which are very good for you and just a little bit of sugar- but also a perfect end for a light dinner.

Mediterranean orange cake

180 g almond meal

• 65 g fresh breadcrumbs from day-old bread
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon finely grated orange zest
• 150 g caster sugar
• 4 eggs
• 160 ml vegetable oil

1. Preheat the oven to 170C. Lightly grease a 22cm round cake tin and line the base and side with a double thickness of baking paper extending 2 cm above the top of the tin.
2. Put the almond meal, breadcrumbs, baking powder and orange zest in a bowl and mix to combine. In another bowl, whisk the sugar and eggs using electric beaters until thick and pale. Gradually add the oil and beat until well combined.
3. Use a large metal spoon to gently fold the dry ingredients into the egg mixture. Pour into the prepared tin. 
4. Bake for 40 minutes and allow to stand in the tin for 5 minutes befoerturning out on a wire rack to cool.

PS: Neil Perry suggests a cardamon creme anglaise to serve. We had it with strawberries in balsamic vinegar and plain yogurt.
Note: it is important to use fresh breadcrumbs to make this cake moist. Remove the crust from a day-old bread, cut in cubes and place them in the food processor.

Apple and pumpkin soup. The story of a "stay at home" dad versus a working mum

It is fascinating the response I have received to my email (esther.tolmos@gmail.com in case you wanted to know) about the last, perhaps, controversial post I wrote of a working mum versus a stay at home mum. 

Most of the emails came from my friends or friends of my friends. I enjoyed reading them so much! Thank you all for your honesty about finding yourself identified with one side of the story or the other.

When I was grabbing for lunch a delicious warm manchego cheese,  jamon serrano and fresh tomato sandwich in the new Rustans supermarket in Rockwell, I met a mum from Aurelia's school ISM. Apparently, she liked my last post - although I had no idea she was actually reading my blog- because her husband had lived an experience that "most of the fathers should live to understand that being a mum full time is an unpaid  and unrecognised job, and exhausting some days", she said. For the record, she allowed me to write her story and comments, with my own style and a bit of humour.

Her words attracted my attention this morning while I was gobbling up the sandwich. 

She has two kids and worked as a lawyer in another country before the family was moved here to Manila. After the birth of her second child and a few months before they started to live in the Philippines, she suggested a silly idea to her husband, a nonsense idea which he would reject for sure: "when our the second child is 6 months old, I would like to go back to work and you could take three months off to be a "stay at home dad"."

The silly idea became real. "We will have so much fun!" her husband said excited to their eldest daughter while holding the baby who just spit on him the first puree cooked apple he had tried to prepare. 

Not many weeks after the mum went back to work with a law firm, wearing spotless clothes and carrying a leather handbag, her husband was becoming very grumpy. 

The new routine in the family was chaotic! For him, not for her. In the mornings, the wife said good-bye  to her husband and kids, after she drank her coffee, brushed her teeth and put the red lipstick on. She had a smile on her face as she enjoyed working again.

The husband, now a full time dad, couldn't finish his breakfast or reading the newspaper  ( that his wife took to the office, by the way ) because he had to change the baby's nappy twice in less than half an hour and the eldest daughter, who just turned three, wanted just dada to be with her without the new little annoying baby brother.

He wore the same stained shirts and the same wrinkled jeans because washing and ironing were in the weekly schedule that her wife wrote specially for him but…he just didn't have time!!!!!

Her husband cooked reasonable dinners from the Gordon Ramsay cookbook " Cooking at home" that she bought for him as a "Thank you gift for accepting my silly idea. I love you". At least he tried, if the meals were tasty is a different matter, better than Jolly Bee or Burger King.

One night, when she came home from work she helped herself a glass of white wine and sat on the sofa to have a friendly chat with her husband about his day. He was very quiet though, he even looked pale, perhaps sick? Nope, he was ROOTED. " I want to go back to work", he confessed with desperation. She laughed feeling sorry for her husband who seemed to have lost a battle.

It was the battle about recognition of the work she used to do, a "real' job that sometimes people forget or don't value enough. 

She kept working until the end of the three months though but helped her husband at home with the kids, groceries and cleaning to make his life more enjoyable at least until the agreement was over. He even found time to do exercise because he started to organise his schedule better, although the jeans were finally ironed by her. 

On the other hand, he appreciated even more than before what his wife did at home for him and the children.

And they live happily ever after…The End.

This story ( a bit exaggerated on my behalf ) reminds me of the fantastic picture book The piggy book of Anthony Browne that I loved reading to Aurelia when she was around four. It is in her bookshelf covered by other school books, and probably with dust. I might give it a clean and read it again. To myself, actually, to remind me that life is about personal choices, good or bad, but yours and your family's.

After the interesting morning I had I came home thinking of what this mum told me ( we became friends after and had a cup of coffee!! ) and what it would happen if I did the same arrangement with nick…Who knows…tonight I just thank her for letting me using her family experience as the subject for this post. 

And tonight, I had a simple and light apple and pumpkin soup while Nick was in a work dinner. The jet lag is still making struggles in my evenings with a baby ready for party at midnight. So i am sure i will be hungry in a couple of hours, about 2 am. Good night!

• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 medium onion, peeled and chopped
• 2 tspn peeled and finely grated ginger
• 1 kig pumpkin, peeled, seeded and chopped
• 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and diced
• 1 tbsp honey
• Pinch of cinnamon and ground cloves
• 1L vegetable broth or chicken stock
• salt and pepper and a bit of chilli oil, if you like spicy
• To serve: I had a toast with goat cheese

1. In a large pot over medium heat, add the oil and then when it is warm, fry the onion and ginger until oftener.
2. Add the pumpkin, the diced apple, honey, cinnamon, and ground cloves and cook for 1 minute. Add the broth or stock and season with salt and pepper.  simmer for 10 minutes or until soft ( I used my pressure cooker and it took me 7 minutes ).
3. Blend until smooth. Top with a few drops of chilli oil.

Buen provecho!

Tortilla de patatas (potato omelette). A family affair

Despite the correction of the figure of death toll from 10,000 to 2.500, the news from Tacloban are very alarming. The desperation, hunger and lack of hope are making struggles in the angry survivors. in these horrible situations it is scary what the human being is capable to do to continue to live. 

Although we cannot see the progress immediately in the devastated area, the cooperation and help are necessary from all of us, not only from Philippines. I hope the international community doesn't forget the disaster in a few months time, when Tacloban ins't in the headlines of the newspapers.

Changing subjects...my mother always says that Nick has a beautiful relation with Aurelia. Since she was born, Nick used to take her with him everywhere in Buenos Aires: to the tennis court when he played (and she was in the pusher); to the cafe La Biela to have a medialuna (croissant) for her and a cafe con leche for him; to have a pizza in his favourite Italian restaurant, La Parolaccia (where we actually celebrated Aurelia's baptism)...many lovely memories.

The older Aurelia gets the easier is for Nick to take her out and not only for a coffee, but also for a romantic dinner. Just father and daughter. It has become a monthly date between the two of them. I love it, and so does Aurelia, who dresses up for the special occasion. She enjoys the significant time Nick dedicates to her, without her two brothers.

A month ago, before the Hong Kong trip, Nick mentioned to Aure they were going out to People's Palace, a fantastic Thai restaurant in Manila. The night of the dinner, Nick was tired and felt more like staying at home. When Aure came down the stairs wearing her purple dress that I made for her and a matching handbag, and said "now, we can go out for dinner dad" with much anticipation, Nick couldn't do anything but smiling. And get dressed!

They had a great bonding time, drinking (she has a "special" drink, like a non-alcoholic cocktail) and eating and sharing moments she will remember for good.   Because they will be part of the stories she will tell to her family, like I tell you about mine now through this blog. I remember my best dinners when there are three good elements all together: company, food and conversation.

I had this runny tortilla for dinner watching one of my favourite movies "Julia and Julie" and enjoying my precious quiet time on my own.

Tortilla de patatas mediana

Un pincho de tortilla

• 2 big floury potatoes,
• 2 brown onions, chopped
• 2 cups olive oil
• 5 eggs

1. Peel the potatoes, wash and cut them in rounds of 3-4 mm. Don't put them under water because you need the starch. Place them on top of a rack and sprinkle a bit of salt over. After 3-4 minutes, wipe them down with kitchen paper (the potatoes will be watery after the salt). 
2. In a big pot, over low heat, add the 2 cups of olive oil. After 2 minutes or so, when the oil is still warm, add the potatoes with the onion. Don't increase the heat. Cover the pot. The potatoes will be cooked until soft in the oil, not fried!
3. When they are soft, strain the oil in a colander (reserve it for future use).  
4. Whisk the eggs, add a bit of salt. Incorporate the cooked potato and onion to the eggs. Mix them through.
5. Heat a tablespoon of oil in a non-stick frypan over high heat. Add the egg mixture. After 2 minutes, reduce the heat (the omelette will be brown but it needs to be cooked inside), shaking the pan from time to time.
6. This step is practice, like the Italians flipping the pizza dough in the air, you need to place a plate or tortillera (a flat disk with a handle; my dad gave me one when I got married) on top of the pan and turn it over so the plate ends in your hand and the pan on top. 
7. Quickly, increase the heat, add another tbsp of oil and slide the omelette from the plate of your hand to cook the other side. Again, we increase the heat at the beginning to brown the omelette but it is reduced after 2 minutes.
8. If you like the tortilla a bit runny like in the photo, touch the centre with a spoon and if it is still soft, that's the point. Otherwise, wait until it is firm when you press gentle 

Serve it with a nice tomato salad at room temperature. And crusty fresh ciabatta. And un tinto de verano. Then, close your eyes after the first bite, and you are in any bar in Spain!

Buen provecho and good luck! Solo la practica hace al sabio.

Crazy mushroom risotto for "one of those days"

Today is one of those days when things don't go the way you planned but with a happy end. Have you ever had them too?

I got up this morning with my running gear next to the bed ready to sneak out the door as I have been doing for the last few weeks, when I heard Gab crying loudly. Worried he could wake up Aurelia, I picked him up. And that was it, the beginning of "one of those days": 

• I went downstairs and started to play with cars and balls at 5.30am. I think I crashed the cars a few times. I can't coordinate very well at that time in the morning and before my medicine, mi cafe.
• Coffee was spilt on the kitchen table while preparing milk for Gab who wasn't settled in his high chair.
• Aurelia was in a grumpy mood because her brother didn't want to hug her when she woke up. She is quite sensitive about it, and Gab is just a boy!
• Nick managed to have a nice quiet breakfast and said good-bye to play tennis at 7am. I didn't get annoyed. Well, just a bit.
• Gabriel is obsessed with flushing the toilet and one day I found one of his cars inside. Today, he threw the piece of banana bread I gave him for breakfast and it got stuck inside the toilet because he also threw a little sponge doll. I had to be a plumber for 10 minutes.
• Colliers (a group of guys employed by the embassy to do the maintenance of  the diplomats' houses once a month) came all together and turned on lights, air-cons..and put my house upside down. 
• At the same time the 7 men were here, baby Juanan felt my anxiety and didn't want to eat or sleep. So I took him upstairs and I closed the door of the office room to have a peaceful moment and a nice soup for lunch. Finally, Juanan fall sleep. Poor thing, he must have felt my nerves. Of course, I felt guilty thinking of that.
• I spent 3 hours at the hospital to change Juanan's leg cast. He was born with a twisted foot maybe because of his position or a lack of space inside the uterus. I go every week to the hospital and today it was cast number 9. I am not counting the 3 casts that came off his leg by themselves at home and were used by Aure and Gab during Halloween. In the procedure of the cast, the Dr removes his nappy as well, so you can imagine the mess on me, who has to hold a crying baby while breastfeeding in front of two doctors.
• I came home at 5pm covered in wee and kaka and worried about my mum in Spain who was hospitalised for an important surgery in Madrid. I wish I were there with her in these moments. The long distance is such an impediment in crucial situations.

This seems like Bridget Jones' diary, except I am not counting the number of cigarettes because I don't smoke or drink, although I should as wine is my night medicine!

Sometimes I feel like moaning in frustration, like I said in one of my posts, but then I stop for a sec to think about some of the achievements I had since I started this blog. I have found time for writing, for cooking and for exercising, but I cannot get up any earlier than 5am just to justify precious time for myself. 4am?? It would be to go too far, a bit crazy. 

So now and again I go back to that annoyed feeling in days like today. I try to avoid whinging but it is hard not to. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to be a working-mum instead of being a stay-home mum. Would I feel the same frustration?

Some of you have sent me your personal experiences by email or comments. Thanks for sharing it with me. Yes, it is true it is easier to accept mentally that you should change some things in your life, but very challenging to put it into practice. Despite our efforts, I am sure there will be "one of those days"  many times because we all have them, it is life. We just need to adjust our priorities, be more flexible, as long as the balance doesn't always incline to the same side.

I said this day had a happy end: a tasty mushroom and porcini risotto. Why did I choose a time consuming dish after this crappy day? Precisely. It is the slow stirring of the rice and the aroma of the wild dried mushrooms what relaxes me, leaving the stress behind. Tomorrow it will be better and if not, I will make a lasagna. Happy cooking!

This risotto was based on a recipe of Jamie Oliver from his book 30 minutes meals, but I changed a couple of things.

• 1 large onion, chopped
• 15g dried wild mushrooms, grinded to dust
• 2 cups of risotto rice
• 1/2 a glass of white wine 
• 1L chicken stock
• 1 clove of garlic
• a small bunch of fresh thyme
• a knob of butter
• Parmesan cheese

1. Heat the stock in a saucepan. Turn on the grill in the oven.
2. Meanwhile, fry the chopped onion in another saucepan (the heavier the base, the better) with a little bit of butter and a lug of olive oil. Stir until the onion is soft.
3. Add the rice and stir for a minute. Then pour the wine (and drink some!) with the heat up to evaporate the alcohol.
4. I add now the wild dried mushrooms "powder"
5. Then add the hot stock little by little, stirring all the time to "massage" starch out of the rice and stop it from sticking.
6. Get half of the fresh mushrooms and add them to the rice. get the other half and place it in a tray with a good lug of extra virgin olive oil, a generous pinch of salt and pepper and a crushed unpeeled clove of garlic. Add the leaves of a few sprigs of thyme. Put the tray under the grill to crisp up. and don't forget to stir the rice! After 5-7 minutes, remove the tray of the oven and set aside.
7. When the rice is al dente, stir in the butter, finely grate Parmesan all over and some lemon juice. Season with salt and pepper and sprinkle some of the mushrooms of the tray and parsley.

Buen provecho!

• My notes: 
• when you have an old cheese, keep it in a plastic bag in the freezer and add it to soups or stocks to enhance the flavour.
• don't rinse or peel the mushrooms or they will loose their nutrition and flavour. Just wipe them with a wet towel.
• use Calasparra rice if you are in Spain instead of risotto rice, in case you cannot get it.
• season the risotto during and after. The butter at the end of the stirring will give taste and a nice shiny look to the dish.
• Al dente is Italian "to the teeth", so the pasta or rice shouldn't be crunchy or too soft. The risotto rice should be firm, you can see the shape of the rice.
• always use HOT stock in the risotto. By the way, have some chicken stock in little bags in the freezer. They are very handy.
• Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese or Parmesan cheese in English is a hard cheese, worth the expense. Try to avoid buying the already grated cheese in bags sold in supermarkets, if you read the ingredients, there are more names (additives or preservatives) than just cheese!