14 January 2014

Nick's Pavlova. Working mum versus stay at home mum

When I went to Madrid I had the chance to meet again, after so many years, two of my good friends that thanks to facebook we have kept in touch. It was such a joy to see them in person and we picked up our friendship where we left it.

There were not tense moments or uncomfortable silences. We just knew the years passed by because we all had kids although I was the only one with a number three child. The time we spent together over a pincho de tortilla and a cafe con leche flew too fast catching up with news and updating each other's lives. 

Face to face with my friends, I saw myself 20 years younger except for the wrinkles next to my mouth ( I was convinced once they appeared because I smile A LOT! ) that brought me to reality: I was on holidays in Madrid for two weeks. It was December of 2008 the last time I actually enjoyed a cold Christmas in Spain.

So I had two friends, one was currently working and the other one was a "stay at home mum". The first one wasn't too happy about her work atmosphere as the economic crisis was obviously having a real effect, but she honestly confessed me she wouldn't stand being at home all day with the kids. My second friend, however, is a stay at home mum by choice but she worked for 7 years. She had been unfairly criticized by her friends: "why are you getting the unemployment benefit being at home with your kids instead of finding a real job?", they often accuse her.

I am in between. Although I spend most of my days looking after my kids and making sure there is always a healthy meal on the table for dinner, it is true I have another "casual" job which is being a diplomat's wife. I am not in a permanent holiday because I have a diplomatic life, as someone said recently to me. It is a job not legally recognised but it should be.  I sometimes have to host functions when I would prefer to be in bed reading a good book; I go to work events with Nick when I wish I could watch a nice movie with my daughter; I support my husband's work in a way that helps our posting to go smoothly and not causing problems at his office. Yes, it is a job but you cannot find the box to tick.

I love being with my children and giving them the luxury of my time, of being at the school to collect them, of cooking at home with them just for fun, of playing at the park, of hosting playdates…TIME for them. But I need my own space too, as I have said in other posts, because surprise surprise, it is tiring to be all day with children. 

As much as I enjoy being a mum of three young children and not having a job in an office, I miss using my " brain " for something else than planing meals. I have worked in the past and I will in the future. I have used my law degree but I am not sure if I will in years ahead. I want to cook in a professional way, teaching children if it is possible, but it is uncertain. I am an eternal optimist about life and whatever I am doing in the present it will have a meaning or a connexion in the next move.

Which "type of mum" is better?  None of them. My mum has worked for 40 years  and had six children to raise and my mother in law had five and stayed at home looking after them, so working as well. I think they did what they could or  what they thought it was the right decision. However, it is true that in this society, stay at home is much less appreciated and often seen with negative eyes which I find it unfair and offensive.

We judge other people too easily whether she is a working mum and she doesn't spend enough time with the family or because she is a stay at home mum and doesn't have a "real job". Everybody has a different life with completely different circumstances, it is my opinion.


About this dessert, Nick made it for Christmas Eve after the paella. Yes, you are right, we managed to combine a Spanish and an Australian national dish on that night. A great marriage! Dishes and us, I mean.

Pavlova is Australia's most famous contribution to the culinary world, although New Zealand argues it is theirs. I am married to an Australian and I am an Australian too, so…what can I say?

It has a crisp meringue outside but a delicate marshmallow-like softness inside, filled with cream and topped with fruit such as strawberries or passionfruit. Nick improvised with banana, blueberries and grapes and it was a nice combination. Not too sweet.




  • Preheat oven to 130C.
  • Line a baking tray with baking paper. On the paper, trace around a large plate to create a circle.
  • Using an electric mixer (make sure is well cleaned by wiping it with a bit of white vinegar) , whisk 6 egg whites to stiff peaks, then add gradually 330g of caster sugar, a tablespoon at a time, and whisk until thick and glossy.
  • Fold through 1 tsp of vanilla bean paste and 1 tbs of sieved cornflour until combined.
  • Spoon mixture onto tray, using the circle as a guide. Smooth around edges. Bake for 1 hour and 45 minutes.
  • turn off oven and leave meringue in oven to cool completely with door closed.
  • beat 600ml thickened cream with 1 tbs caster sugar to soft peaks, then fold  through a handful of sliced strawberries.
  • To serve, spread whipped cream over meringue and scatter with extra slices strawberries and/ or blueberries, or even crushed pistachio kernels.

Buen provecho!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your comments are more than welcome. Thank you!