Sausage rolls for fussy kids. The "F" word

In the last few days I have been using quite often a word that starts with the letter "f". It is not a rude word, if that was what you thought. I give you a clue: it means the end of something or a separation from someone or from a place; sometimes it makes you sad.

Farewells.

I don't like them much. I never did in the past, but I am used to them now. I have moved countries six times since 2003 and this will be my seventh in mid-June. I know what to expect in the next few weeks and it is not always as easy as you might think. I am upset about closing another chapter of my life, an intensive one actually. But life continues and there is always something positive to look forward.

I mentioned in my post "Detachable me" that my skin has got more resistant to the pain every time I go through the process of packing and moving homes from one country to another. With each diplomatic posting the embassy provides us a house, with furniture that also belongs to the embassy, but we call it our "home" during the length of the posting (usually three years). We make sure it is our "home" and we decorate it with our personal effects (my cookbooks, Nick's favorite paintings, children's drawings…) as we were planning to live there for good. Otherwise, indifference and apathy would give us a "temporary" feeling and would not help us to get settled in that particular country - especially  our children, who move so often that they might get lost sometimes in what "home" really means for them.

And home is not going to be Manila anymore I said gently to them, well, to Aurelia really (Gab doesn't have the maturity to fully understand the situation yet ). It will be Canberra for a while, who knows for how long. We will arrive in the middle of winter! I am looking forward to packing in one of our five suitcases my warm feather grey coat that my mum gave me last Christmas in Spain. I know I will feel cozy underneath when I take the kids for a walk around the lake on a crisp but sunny morning in Canberra.

It is an awkward feeling to live your own farewell. The situation feels unreal, kafkaesque, like it is not happening to you. I have seen many of my good friends leave and I was left behind, trying to fill up the empty space with new friendships but not always succeed. Some friends are irreplaceable. I have been in their farewells, even asked them the typical questions such as how do you feel about living? will you miss Manila? what are you planning to do next? ah, what school is she going to? do you have already a house where to live?. And now that it is me who has to answer, it is my turn to be in the other side of the story, I find it challenging, and a bit upsetting. 

However, it is also exciting thinking about the next big, huge adventure ahead of us. A new door is about to be opened. I just hope Aurelia, Gabriel and Juanan cope well with the transition. The separation of their belongs and friends could give them anxiety and that's why we remind them everyday than Nick and I, papa and mama, will be with them always, no matter what happens.

I had my very first farewell lunch with some of my good friends yesterday. 

It was funny the way it began. We were meeting at 12 o'clock in a restaurant hidden in the 3rd floor of an office building close to my house. So I left home at 11.55 to be on time (I am always late and the baby is my excuse…for now). My hands smelt strongly of garlic from the marinating of the meatballs I prepared at 11.45 wearing high heel shoes and a new Zara blue and yellow dress that I bought for that special lunch. Not even the grandmother trick of rubbing parsley in my hands would take the smell off. Never mind, let's have fun. And I closed the door of motherhood behind me.

I got to the restaurant and found the table with the "reservation" name on top. But it was empty. Humm…it is strange. Time passed by and the only people next to my table were business men having lunch but none of my friends. I had that uncomfortable smile on my face as I was on my own in my farewell lunch. Where the bloody hell are they? I thought, maybe this lunch was a joke. Meanwhile, an scene from Sex and the City television series crossed my mind, when Carrie went to a restaurant to celebrate her 35th birthday dinner with her friends but they didn't turn up. In the end, she was left totally alone and went back home, crying.

Thank goodness my friends turned up…on time, actually. It was 12.30 the lunch not 12 noon.  I was so excited about my first farewell (and my first lunch out without kids!) when I left home that I didn't pay attention to the text of my friend confirming the lunch...and to change the booking for half and hour later than the previous arrangement.

We laughed about my mistake over a beautiful meal (most of us had a bento tray of poached salmon with fried rice) surrounded by the aroma from a big bunch of white and pink lilies that my friends gave me and I placed behind my chair to hide the garlic smell of my hands. They also bought me a fantastic cookbook La cocina Latina, which is like the "bible" for the Latin american kitchen. 

One of my friends asked me what are the things you will remember from the Philippines, besides of having had two babies here?  Well, it took me a while to respond.  Honestly, I could have done more or travelled more or enjoyed more with nights out or weekends away, but I didn't because of my personal circumstances. So I thought about the answer and I told her with teary eyes that I will take with me the memories I have shared with this great group of very good friends.

I don't have physically more time here with them, but I  know we will keep in touch and who knows, maybe our paths will cross again. I read recently that "A true friendship is not about being inseparable; it is about being separated but nothing changes"

Thank you. I enjoyed my farewell lunch as much as the three years we spent together.

PS: by the way, I also take with me a nice rock on my finger that Nick bought me in 2012 for our tenth wedding anniversary!

Healthy sausage rolls for fussy kids

This is one of the best recipes I came up with: I mix grated carrot and zucchini with the meat. Simple but delicious. The sausage rolls are also nice served with tomato chutney and a green salad.

Start the recipe the day before or at least 5 hours ahead for a more flavour mixture.

Makes  a big batch, 20 medium size rolls (2 per person)

Mixture:

• 500g ground beef (if you choose lean, the sausage will be a bit dry)
• 250g ground pork
• 1 carrot, finely grated
• 1 small zucchini, grated and squeezed the liquid
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, grated or crushed
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 tablespoon of chopped parsley
• 1/4 cup homemade breadcrumbs, soaked in milk and squeezed (or substitute for cooked rice)
• 1 teaspoon of soy sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon of each sweet paprika, white pepper and mustard powder. 
• salt and fresh ground black pepper

Rolls:

• puff pastry sheets
• To brush the rolls, egg wash: 1 egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon of milk

1. For the meat mixture, using a medium size bowl, mix all the ingredients using your wet hands until they are evenly mixed and cover tightly with a plastic wrap. Keep it in the fridge.
2. When ready to cook (calculate 1 hour or preparation time), preheat oven to 180C. Grease two baking trays.
3. Cut each sheet of pastry in half. Lay a piece of the pastry out on a clean table and use a 1/2 cup measure to scoop a portion of the sausage mixture and place it on top of the pastry. Use your hands to form it into a long sausage that goes along the centre of the pastry, keeping the same thickness (I follow this method when I make gnoquis or croquetas).
4. The tricky part is to roll the pastry over the sausage and then fold up the bottom of the pastry to meet it; it should overlap. Carefully turn the long sausage roll over so the join is underneath (and it doesn't open when it puffs in the oven). Repeat with the remaining pieces of pastry until the meat mixture is finished.
5. Cut each long roll into equal pieces.
6. Place the sausage rolls on baking trays, leaving a little space between them. Brush the top with the egg wash.
7. Put the trays in the oven and bake until the pastry is golden and flaky (about 25 minutes).
8. When they are cooked, let them cool a bit and serve them with tomato sauce and a green salad (you can also cooked them partially, cool them and keep them in the freezer)